“We called people -- old, mostly -- and convinced them that we were running a raffle. To enter, they gave us their credit card numbers, and once a month we chose somebody to win a cheap prize to make it look legit. The rest of the time, we stole their money. You wouldn’t believe how easy it was.”
The above comes from a friend of mine. I will not name him because I’m not sure what the statute of limitations is on that particular crime. But, I will tell you that he was not running the scheme, just collecting a pay check and getting really high off of all the money he made. It was a very long time ago, well before I had met him, and he said after some growing up, he knew it was something to be sorry for and he could never bring himself to do it again (amongst other things he was up to at that time that I have chosen to leave out).
Their getting better at it. We the people have been fighting back, little by little, to get rid of these fuckers, but now their changing the plays.
The technique is nothing new, but the application to telemarketing is.
(Their fucking with my head maaan!)
I remember, back when I was young, Nickelodeon ran an interesting piece on advertisement tricks on the youth. The one I remember best -- and you may remember as well -- was the add for the board game, “Guess Who?” where all the little cardboard cartoon people talk smack while the two children play.
Kids were actually begging their parents to buy the game with, “the talking people.”
I know, I know. You think I should give them a break because their kids. Right?
Wrong. I was maybe seven at the time, and I knew better.
A lot of us did, but that didn’t stop the board game people from making the add with the intention of tricking the stupid kids. (Yea… I called the little rug fuckers stupid.)
My problem now, -- and the add companies know this as well -- is that everybody that grew up with me is still that god damned gullible. And, some are far worse off than others.
That, still does not make it O.K. for these assholes to prey on the weak.
Not too far back, I used to play with the telemarketers. It was a kick in the head. And, I could because there was nothing they could do about it. Well… maybe they could, but lets face it, the two biggest concentrations of telemarketers for the U.S. are in either India, or a California correctional facility.
Now I can’t.
Because of the new technique I mentioned.
They used to be live and in person. Now (maybe because dickheads like me continuously assured them I was a Ms., not a Mr. … Tee Hee.) they now start all calls with a pre recorded message. A decent idea for side stepping jack off’s like myself, but most people hang up once the recording tried to warn them that their, “cars warranty was about to expire.”
Now the recording is better. Maybe because the telemarketing community has been so low on the recycled numbers game that they have been calling commercial businesses, or perhaps they simply discovered a better script.
(He clears his throat casually.)
“Hi, this is Ted from, ‘The guys that rape the elderly and touch your children in the dark, Inc.’”
(Short Pause)
“We’ve spoken before. I don’t know why, but Last time we spoke, my company wasn’t right For you. But… right now I’m looking at your Paper work…
(He ruffles some random paper to be heard.)
And it looks like you are the perfect Candidate for our debt reduction program.
It’s very clever. It’s design is to sound live, casual, and truthful. I’ve heard many different scrambles of the same thing, but all have the same goal of scamming the elderly, and the stupid. It goes on a bit longer than what I’ve shown you, but I’m sure you get the gist.
And, of course, it’s working well for them.
I’m not sure how many suckers they score per day, but I’m sure it’s enough to keep them above water because I get more than one of these messages a week.
I don’t know how you feel about this, but I think it’s a grotesque way for us to treat each other, and I just want to warn you, it’s going to get worse.
Always does.
(If you want this to stop… or at least come to a slow down, wait for the option of being removed from the call list to present itself, then take it. I received this phone number five years ago, and in the beginning was pained by five or six calls each day. Now I only get three to six a week. And all inside of five years… what progress.)
Note: Just after I finished this article, DJ Adam-12 announced that he had just received a telemarketing call on his request line at WBCN 104.1 the rock of Boston. (HA)
Note # 2: WBCN Fucked Over It’s Fans In Ways That Made ME Uncomfortable After The Writing Of This Article. Ya’Assholes!
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