“Oh! Wow, we’re bout ta see some booger ri’here.”
The above quote came from a trucker I met at a TA truck stop, in a state I cant remember, at a time I cant remember.
Two other truckers had been watching me play a video game that involved revealing a picture of a naked woman. I was good, but one of them was better, so he thought he would teach this kid a few moves, and did.
As he played, sweeping through one level after another, a third trucker came to watch. The screen was filled with the silhouette of a naked woman spreading her legs far enough apart to reveal the pink and brown winkers. Every twitch and jostle of the joystick (no pun intended) the player removed the woman’s silhouette, exposing more flesh for our wanting eyes. As he finished off the woman’s right thigh moving inward, the third trucker spoke up in excitement.
His line caught us all by surprise. The player lost. The second trucker walked out, disgusted, but laughing. I was glad to know I was not the only one hearing for the first time that woman’s vagina could be called, “a booger.”
It took a few minutes for the effect to wear off, but the story still remains.
#
On my way into Cape Cod MA, one morning long, long ago on highway 25, I saw an amazing thing. Perhaps you’ve seen something similar in your time, and I know I had and probably will again, this particular one just caught me off guard.
Way off guard.
I was eastbound in the far right lane traveling about 65 mph because that was the trucks top speed. Up ahead of me, through the 5:30 am mist and fog, I saw a lonely grayish/blue Toyota corolla. It was moving a sight slower then I was in the center lane, and swerving into both lanes every few seconds.
My first thought was that I had run into a drunk on a lonely highway. I was wrong, of course.
As I approached, I let myself wander onto the shoulder to give the boozer a wide birth. Around 20 or so feet off of the Toyotas rear quarter, I could see the wobbling head of what looked to be an old man.
Now my thoughts change. “He could be sick,” I thought. “He could be low on meds, or falling asleep because his arthritis kept him up last night.” And for a second, I felt kind of bad. In those few seconds as the 20 feet closed in, I thought it was still likely that the old man was drunk, but all the other things were possible, maybe worse, so as I pass by him I lean forward to take a peek inside the Toyota.
Not drunk. Not sick. Not a man.
An elderly, overweight, wrinkled old lady, had made a horrible choice. She got into her little shit box of a car, started the engine, got on the highway, and then thought, “Hey, with the highway this empty, I bet no one will notice if I hike up my skirt, slide the old panties aside, and violently flick at my clit with my right fatty McFatty thumb. That should make my ride go by quicker.”
Ok… in her defense, it wasn’t a horrible choice. Getting your jollies so innocently should not be a crime.
But… in my defense… she should have kept it a little more private. (Yuck!)
I don’t know if she noticed me. After I passed by her, she should have noticed me, but only God knows what was on her mind at the moment. All I know, is whether she noticed or not, she continued.
The swerve of her Toyota in my rearview mirror said, “Fuck you trucker. Grandmas got’ta get her squirt on before it dries up.”
#
If you enjoyed this, (you sick freak) stick around. There’s more tales to come in the near future.
Tell Your Friends.
0 comments:
Post a Comment